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Carlsberg Don't Do Profiles. If They Did, This Would Probably Be The Best Profile In The World...
Name: Kelly
Details: 35 years old (Pisces), Female, In Relationship, Open Minded
Location: Edinburgh...ish., Scotland, United Kingdom
Profile Link:www.faceparty.com/kelleh__x
Recent photos29 photos | view all
In my own words

*looks in mirror* Look at us, we've fairly let ourselves go! It's OK, I'll still love you! *is asleep..feels a wandering hand..wakes up* OOFT! you see it all in Bo'ness..I can smell seaweed! You want it once but you know I'm gonna give you a DOUBLE! It's NOT pre-teen..HONEST! Aye..Aye. NOSEY NEIGHBOUR! The seals are out to get me! Al club the fuckers to death..joking! Emma's 3rd nipple is back with a view to take over her whole chest! This time it's developed an AFRO! *whacks head off roof* ya cunt..did i just do that?! *hand thing* HUGS! Emma! Your tea! SHOVE YER DINNER UP YER ARSE! Look at ma shexy body! Shexy woman! Shexy womannn! By the way, would you like some chicken?! I've got more. Hello, can I have chips, cheese and discharge, please? I do, I do, I doo-hoo! I'll be back in 2hrs with my combineharvester! I wana see what you're doing under that cover! And what's Sandra doing there?!
Blog 4 posts | view all

In No.69 There Lives A Transvestite. He's A Man By Day But He's A Woman At Night. There's A Man In No.4 Who Swears
He's Saddam Hussein. Says He's On A Chore To Start The Third World War. In 110 They Haven't Paid The Rent So There Goes The TV With The Repo Men. In 999 They Make A Living From Crime The House Is Always Empty 'cos They're All Doin' Time. In No.18 There Lives A Big Butch Queen He's Bigger Than Tyson & He's Twice As Mean.In 666 Lives Mr.Miller He's Our Local Vicar & A Serial Killer
My Eternal Dilemma...

Nigel is upper class, and the upper class don't get itchy arses. Only the working class get itchy arses. Isn't in extraordinary? You never see the Queen picking her arsehole. And when I say arse..I mean arse. You can never reach it, all you're doing is ramming your Levi's up your arse. And it never happens at home, never at home, always in a busy street. Everybody looking like 'oh fuck, look at her'. You try anything but ram your hand in there.
Friends9 friends | view all
Comments 5 of 5 | post a comment | view all
marshyboy wrote...  
woow you cracked me rite in half what a girafe a had ! am gutted your taken :( x ad love to have a crack with you if thats half left ? x
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sheene wrote...  
hey bbe read ur profile u seem kl n u r fitt lol if u fancy a chat n laff add me on msn its [email protected] chat soon ya msg bk liam x
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star2star wrote...  
Ive been good, hope u hav 2. Lots been happening since we last spoke, moved house, left my job and met sum1 nice. Whats new with you? x
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star2star wrote...  
Hey Kelleh! Long time no speak! hows life treating ya? x
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br0k3n_d0ll wrote...  
[Awesome] pics && profile :D
lorah <3
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Galleries1 gallery | view all
Photos of me
29 photos
Favorite Things

Jint's Homemade Soup.

Little Bit Of This..Little Bit Of That..

TV Show
Hollyoaks..BB..Sugar Rush..LoveWord ;]

M. Y. Self. Nothing Like Blowin Your Own Trumpet.

Chitty Chitty Gang Bang. Rumpledforeskin.

Night Club / Bar
Y'all Kno There Ain't No Clubs In My Town.

Bestiality is WRONG. Just wrong.

Sally, Palm & Her 5 Sisters, Suzie, Sandra.

Click here to view

Behind These Eyes.

My Left Hand. Actually, Both.


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