| 5 entries | | |  | | | | Stealing | wrote | | | I was stealing things in the supermarket today while balanced on the shoulders of a couple of vampires.. I was charged with shoplifting on two counts. | | | | | Promotion | wrote | | So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up,and
he said 'You've been promoted.'
And I swerved.
And then he rang up a second time and said "You've been
promoted again.'
And I swerved again.
He rang up a third time and said 'You're managing director.'
And I went into a tree.
And a policeman came up and said
'What happened to you?'
And I said 'I careered off the road. | | | | | Rude Lady | wrote | | I went into Tesco today and brought a gallon of milk, a loaf of bread, and a pound of bacon. Then I took it up to the checkout and as I was paying the lady says
Wow, you must be single.
I replied Yes. How did you know?
The cashier says Because you're ugly.
Charming !! | | | | | Pillows | wrote | | Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows?
They're making headlines! | | | | | Pub | wrote | | I was in a pub yesterday and the cigarette machine said You smell and you're ugly
Then I heard a voice coming from a nearby plate of peanuts saying You're a very handsome young man
Turns out the cigarette machine was out of order and the nuts were complimentary ! | | | | | 5 entries | | |
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