| 5 entries | | |  | | | | catfish sex | wrote | | For months now I have been studying how to turn a catfish without selfishly inviting it to a gangbang.
Here is my advise.
1. when approaching the fish never call it a tail sniffer (it only arouses it)
2. on approach greet the cat with a chinese accent such as 'hewwo siwwy fishhy'
3. never try to force feed the fish with woppleclams
4. every 2.75 mins. tell the fish to fekk off and get a life. this creates a trail of jizzy ectopla | | | | | pushing the boundaries | wrote | | There has only been 1 music act over the past 25 years to have shook & pushed the boundaries of country music than any other band ever.. of course i am on about the dixie chicks....what with there formidable harmonies & lyrics that had never been heard in the country music scene before.
They are the only country act to sell over three and a half copies of all albums and singles combined, a feat that has never been achieved by any other country group. | | | | | History of the woppleclam | wrote | | The woppleclam (or latin name 'the woppleclam') was found just off shores on a remote island known as pen island.
It had 3 arses and each could tell the time in different ways.
It fed upon the insides of knarf fruit which was widlely available on pen island
and spoke up to no languages including bat and phesant.
It was related to the small herbivore jeff and would call round and sometimes ask if he was coming out to play.
Jeff would always claim to | | | | | Snail Trails | wrote | | I think that the snail is such a randy little so and so that it secreets seemen continually as it has a hand in its shell that allows it to masturbate all the time thus creating a 'snail trail' of jizz.. Having interviewed a snail only last sunday he flatly denied my claim but as he spunked off into the distance i helped myself to a sample of his trail..
I await the results | | | | | the depleation of the shoe horn industry | wrote | | So I bought my shoes only to find that they were full of crab....well i wasnt having that so i took them back to the shoe emporium and said.
when i asked for laces you must have mis-understood me.
they apologised to me and offered me world peace, obviously i declined the offer cos as good as world peace can be it doesnt stop my shoes slobbing off.
so now i am slobbin the fek around in crab based trainers. as you can tell im not happy.
My rant is now | | | | | 5 entries | | |
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