In my own words Abandonded at birth & raised by East Mongolian Splashfarts. Orphaned when herd was slaughtered by Guatamalan Bollock Eating Lobsters & deported back to England to earn a crust headlining in a travelling freak show!!!
My Worst Day... . . . when i went to the shop & was agast when i realised i only had enough money for booze OR fags!