 | | Name: | MATTHEW | | | | Details: | 26 years old (Leo), Male, Single, Straight | | | Location: | United Kingdom | | | Profile Link: | www.faceparty.com/usuk306 |
|
In my own words
AN OCTOPUS WALKS INTO A BAR AND SAYS I CAN PLAY ANY MUSICAL INSTRUMENT YOU LIKE. AN ENGLISHMAN GIVES HIM A GUITER WITCH HE PLAYS BETTER THAN HENDRIX. THE IRISHMAN GIVE HIM A PIANO WHICH HE PLAYS BETTER THAN ELTON. THE SCOTSMAN THROWS HIM A SET OF BAG PIPES. THE OCTOPUS FUMBLES ABOUT FOR A COUPLE OF MINUTES AND THE SCOTSMAN SAYS WHAT'S WRONG CAN YE NO PLAY IT? THE OCTOPUS SAYS 'PLAY IT?-I'M GONNA FUCK HER BRAINS OUT ONCE I GET HER PHJAMAS OFF!....A convict breaks in to a house, and ties up the husband and his wife. He jumps on the wife and kisses her ear, then runs into the bathroom. The husband whispers to his wife Satisfy him, or he'll kill us. I saw the way he Kissed you, just be strong i love you! The wife replies He did'nt kiss me he whispered in my ear he's gay, horny and looking for vaseline. I told him it's in the bathroom. Lets see who's fuckin strong now. |
| Blog | 5 posts | view all | | | | untitled
wrote at 14:26 on 27 Aug 2007 | | | A Cucumber, a Pickle & a Penis were talking about there lives. The Cucumber said my life sucks, when I get big fat a juicy, they cut me up & toss me on a salad. The Pickle said when I get big fat and juicythey cover me in vineger & throw me in a jar. The Penis said u think thats bad when I get big fat & juicy they pull a plastic bag over my head, stick me in a dark, damp room & bang my head against the wall til I throw up & pass out! |
|
The Meaning Of Life...
KNOW WHERE YOU WANA GO AND HELP PEOPLE GET THERE ON YOUR WAY |
| Comments | 10 of 12 | post a comment | view all | | | | | | | | | | deedee28 wrote... | 11:29 - 14 Sep 2007 | | | PMSL at your profile, ur jokes are SO good!!! I loved them! | | | | | send message |
| | | | | | | | | | kaybitch wrote... | 18:58 - 10 Sep 2007 | | | an old man n his grandson went into the bookies, n boy asks grandad if he could put a bet on. grandad says if u can touch ur arse with ur dick u can av a bet. i cant says lad. well ur not old enough then, so the boy went next door to buy a scratch card n wins £50,000, he ran t grandpa, who suggested they plit it 50 50. lad sez grandad can u touch ur arse we ur dick? yes i am a grown up he replied. well then go fuck your self | | | | | send message |
| | | | | | kaybitch wrote... | 18:52 - 10 Sep 2007 | | | to save gas, pavarotti will be cremated by microwave. as they say say in opera, its not over till the fat bastered pings :) | | | | | send message |
| | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | | |
|
|
| | | Personal Stats Interests
HAVING FUN Makes me happy
OTHER HAPPY PEOPLE Makes me sad
THE NEWS Perfect Partner
AT HOME Bad habits
NONE Cigarettes
I don't smoke Alcohol
I drink occasionally Drugs
I don't use drugs Race
White / Caucasian Hair
BROWN Eyes
Blue Body Type
Medium Build Slightly Hairy |
| Favourite Things Food
PASTA Music
90s TV Show
SIMPSONS Author
SAUN HUTSON Movie
FACE OFF Night Club / Bar
ANY WHERE THAT SELLS CIDER Animals
DOG Person
ANYONE WHO BUYS ME A CIDER Place
LONDON EYE (AT THE TOP) Possession/Thing
MY THING |
| Details Last logged on 9 october 2008 at 10:59am Last modified 12 September 2007 Created on 24 April 2007 Visitors 5,862 visitors |
| |
| | |
|
 | | | | | |  |
one 2 one
Private room
